I've been convicted lately by my own arrogance and pride. There have been battles, both in the workplace and at home, which my spirit has utterly been losing. Struggles have worn the thick skin I once had and made me susceptible to the inner hatreds of my heart and the words of others. There is no hidden truth that I have a bitter distain for my job and the work that I do. There is no way I can hide that fact anymore as my co-workers have often told me how much my attitude has changed in the past few months. That leaves a bitter taste in my mouth knowing that others are aware of struggles I'm going through.
In knowing that others see my frustration, I have been more vigilant in my prayer life as I pray for both patience and perseverance in waiting for the door to the next chapter of my life to open. However, to continue a thought from a previous post, I wonder if I'm getting caught in trying to find the ideal place to live, rather than being content in the situation in which I am already living.
Solace in the Fight
There are always those examples of what the ideal situation is like in our work, marriage, kids, etc. However, do you love each of those things purely for what they offer? Or, what they can provide later on? Some people assume that marriage is an easy way of getting sex whenever they want it, and not having to take someone out on dates anymore. I disagree on that fact. Marriage is much harder than dating, and there cannot be a "means to an end" attitude if you hope to see your spouse as anything more than a commodity.
No matter what we look at in our lives, we must see it for what it is, not for where it can take us. Finding solace in the fight against your flesh, or even the enemy, does not mean looking towards the end of the road on the other side of the battlefield. It means staring at the road where you are standing and remaining steadfast to find your way through the muck. Pushing through the pain is what makes us stronger. If you love your wife, then love her for her, and don't base that on a list of conditions. We too often find ourselves making a list of ways out before we even start. Thus, we set ourselves up for failure before even running the race. I would like to ponder on a verse from 2 Corinthians 5:
"For we know that if the tent that is our earthly home is destroyed, we have a building from God, a house not made with hands, eternal in the heavens. For in this tent we groan, longing to put on our heavenly dwelling, if indeed by putting it on we may not be found naked. For while we are still in this tent, we groan, being burdened—not that we would be unclothed, but that we would be further clothed, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life. He who has prepared us for this very thing is God, who has given us the Spirit as a guarantee."
While we may be trying to achieve everything in this world, we have to remember that this world is only a temporary dwelling. The solace we are trying to find in our jobs, marriages, kids, and spouses can never be found here. We've been looking in the wrong place. When Jesus came to die for us, He knew what it all meant and understood that even though the road would be hard, He was doing the will of the Father.
"My Father, if it be possible, let this cup pass from me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will." (Matthew 26:39 ESV)
It has never been our will to be successful; it has been His will that we might do our work for Him. As you find yourself in the midst of anger, frustration, depression, or despair this week over the circumstances of your situation, I encourage you to pray and ask for the strength to endure. Handling the easy moments is not a true test of your faith, but coming through trials renewed and unbroken can show your real devotion to faith. Lean on Him for your strength and purpose. Find your hope in the One who has overcome the world. Find your place in Jesus.