I never spent much time thinking about getting older except when my birthday came around. When I was younger the concept of getting older brought on a plethora of new things, such as, the ability to drive a car at 16, being able to vote at 18, have a few drinks with friends at 21 (a concept I still don’t do now even years afterwards), and then being able to rent a car for a road trip at 25. For all of us we fit into one of two categories: the ones who aren’t old enough and want to be older or those who are older and wish they could be younger. I fit into the later category and for the big birthday’s in my life I tended to be a little more low-key than others because a year older means only one thing you’re a year older. You don’t get any wiser by gaining a year and you certainly don’t gain extra “street cred” by being X years old. I like to tell people, “I may have been doing web design for the last 12 years doesn’t mean I know anything. My work will show if I know what I’m doing or not.”
As I sit on the eve of my impending 30th birthday I know two things now that I am one step closer to a few dreams and several steps past accomplished dreams. The last few weeks I’ve spent pondering on what I have done to get to this point in my life and over the course of a few of those days have been quite depressed that most of things I wanted to get done simply aren’t done or even started. Though as I pulled myself out of the funk I started noticing that the life I have now is nothing to be scared or angry about. I have a wonderful wife, a beautiful baby girl, and a home to call my own which was all accomplished while in my twenties. Sure I may not have written a best-selling novel, started a successful business, or become a teacher, but none of those things directly effect my self worth, well they shouldn’t at least. Quite a few of my friends who have leapt the gap into their thirties were worried at first but then realized that their lives are still the somewhat the same.
However, for myself it is a great feeling to move from a dream to a reality. I am very much orientated towards checklists because I love the feeling of being able to check a box and say done. To be able to move beyond a dream to living in one is an incredible feeling since the life of a dreamer can often leave you feeling a little empty if all you do is dream. Even God tells us not to be frightened by the roads ahead since He is with us.
Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go. Joshua 1:9
I need the constant reminder of His Word (the Bible) to get me through the day because there is enough discouragement at work, at home, in life, and everywhere in between to knock me off my valiant steed. To often I don’t turn to Him when I am feeling discouraged or need recharging because at that point I tend to rely on myself with batteries drained to find the strength that isn’t there. That is when my ultimate fall hits because who I really need in my moments of need isn’t me, but God to show me who I am and to provide the strength I need.
While a lot of my dreams have been left unaccomplished and unchecked as I leave my twenties that doesn’t mean that they won’t ever be completed. The next decade of my life might be the time when I start to get things done and start relying not in myself to see what my life will hold but in God to guide my steps. In the words of Jason Nesmith (Tim Allen) “Never give up, never surrender!”